It is not often that I dally to talk, much less to speak about myself. It is, you understand, in my nature to keep moving, to flow, run, soar. The concept that people have about a slow, stately passage is no more than an illusion. I may on occasion slow to a walk but that is as brief as it is rare. Too late do many of your kind discover the true speed of my journey; too late do they realize that I have traversed more than they believed possible, and that their years have withered in my wake. Yes, it is a true thing that you say – I wait for no man and I never look back.
What is that you ask? Am I in a hurry now? Ah, no. Now is something I define. I can afford to wait a little while, after all my travels thus far. While the world sleeps around you, and while the far side of the earth lies frozen in the sunshine, while the universe hangs poised and ready to push on in its neverending growth… I can tarry a little. It is a change, and you already know that I embrace change as I must. This is welcome, after my constant motion. Let me stay young awhile, before I must face the seasons where I grow old and die and am reborn again on my endless cycle. One tires of routine, even when change is the routine, and nothing I have seen can take away my bone-deep need for rest.
For all that I am capable of, my course is not charted by my own hand. I have witnessed everything, yet I have not the will to carve my future; my steps are always to be determined by others. I have seen leaders born, men and women who would change the world by altering the pattern of my path, and I have seen them fall on the very roads they decreed I should take. I have seen the brevity of everything conceivable. There is nothing of which mankind is proud that is not also essentially flawed. Wisdom, too, is fettered; a mere perception that is bound by the limits of knowledge and thus flawed on the simple basis of being human.
I do not seek to imply that I know all that will happen. It is true that I see all there is to see, yet things take place every day, that defy history. Thus it would not be fair to say that I know all that will be, all which will come, if only because I have seen all that has already happened. I do remember well – the memory of all that has ever been, and all that is happening, is embedded within me. Every flickering notion, whim, desire, idea; they are created as mine, as much as they are yours. But nobody can claim to know the future, not even immortal Time, in spite of my relation to Fate. It is an ironic twist that links humanity to me as an eternal entity, regardless that I have been alive since the first heartbeat of creation.
Am I keeping you from your rest? Ah, you seem surprised that I express consideration. I have not been able to comprehend that aspect of my being either. It is only logical to expect Time to be like my cousin, Fate, void of all sentiment. Perhaps it is in order to balance Fate that I am allowed to feel as I do. I have no more knowledge of morals than Fate – who am I to judge what is good and what is not? What right do I have, I who cannot charter my own journey, to dictate the morality of anything? As deeply as I know the truth and as well as I see each of you for whom you are without passing judgement, so too do I merely know of emotions. So too am I familiar with pain, joy, wrath, frustration… so too do I see how one occurrence brings happiness to some and sorrow to others, for though the things that happen do not touch me, it is mortal, fleeting emotions that do. I suspect that because I know emotion, I am being eroded by weakness. To show feeling is weak, and in doing so I am failing my cause. Time marches on, you have said, and this should be true, were it not for my own weakness in feeling. Solitude and sorrow should not have the ability to touch me – I, who have no heart to offer the world! I, who walk without so much as glancing over my shoulder; who explores the ways that Fate has destined!
And yet… yet I feel heavy to leave you. I know that I must go, yet this brief respite has paradoxically strengthened my weaknesses. Come, I have tarried long enough. You may have no recollection of this – I see you have been recording our conversation! While there is no certainty as to whether you can salvage anything of it, I like to think your actions provide me with a chance to plot my own journey for once. One cannot deny that it would be interesting to see where my road takes me if you succeed. You would do well to feel no resentment against me for unwittingly aiding my purpose. Remember your place, if you will, and that I have chosen you out of everyone else to document these non-moments.
It is not often that Time stands still.
Let the dragon ride again on the winds of time.
